Becoming a parent is a dream so many hold. A deep yearning to be a mom. A desire to be a dad. But when that dream seems so far away it can be hard to hold onto hope.
Most of us grow up thinking getting pregnant is easy and only takes “one time”. Sadly, as many have come to realize, typically it takes a lot more than just once. If this is you then you’re probably wondering, “Why haven’t I gotten pregnant yet? Is there something wrong with me?”
Maybe you’ve voiced these concerns to your doctor and they told you to “wait”, that their hands are tied and until you’ve been “actively trying for one year” they cannot do anything. Or you’ve already started working with your doctor or fertility specialist and everything comes back “normal” with no answers why you’re struggling to conceive.
Perhaps it’s not the getting pregnant part that is your struggle, but staying pregnant. After a miscarriage many women blame themselves for not being able to “stay pregnant”.
If you’ve experienced multiple miscarriages you might be finding yourself struggling to hold onto the little bit of hope that is left. Maybe, you’ve given up hope altogether and feeling the weight of depression and anger not understanding why this is happening to you.
Sadly, sometimes you’ve been blessed with your perfect, sweet babe and they get taken away. You don’t understand why this happened, why God allowed their life to be so short, or what you could have done differently. You blame yourself. You blame God. You are broken and cannot imagine how to start picking up the pieces. You are in so much pain from the loss of your little one you’re struggling to show up for anything or anyone else.
Whether you’re struggling to conceive, have experienced the loss of pregnancy, or of your sweet baby the feelings you feel and beliefs you have are valid.
You might experience feelings of depression, sadness, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, anxiety, loneliness, pain, guilt, and fear.
Sometimes, it negatively affects your relationship and you begin to feel disconnected like you’re two people going through something at the same time, but not together. You begin to pull further away either out of self protection because “he just doesn’t get it”- it makes it feel so much more isolating and painful. Or maybe you’re trying so hard to be there for her and supportive, but you feel like a failure- nothing you do is right and you hate not being able to “fix it”.
At Authentic Connections Counseling we offer individual and couples support from truly caring and empathetic therapists as you walk through this part of your story. Sometimes you don’t need more people giving you advice, but instead a safe place to just be, to share honestly without judgment, and allowed to show up just as you are, where you are.